Psychological Pillar

Resolve your emotional eating

When you turn to food to fulfil emotional needs you can easily put on weight

Help your emotional eating

Bay Deane

We all eat emotionally. How can we not? We started life learning that feeding gets us close to someone. Feeding helps us not feel isolated. Feeding takes our hurts away. To the new born baby food IS love. Eating is essentially relational.

Many people struggling to keep weight off are held back by their emotional eating. They may find it hard to love themselves and respect and value their bodies. They may find it hard to make lifestyle changes that promote their well being. Working with your emotional eating can make your weight loss more sustainable. 


Emotional Eating Patterns

Which of these Emotional Eating Patterns do you identify with?

The first of the ebooks on emotional eating helps you prepare you for psychological change. The way you start makes all the difference prepares you for the emotional eating patterns 1-6 and helps you eat with love and compassion.

Emotional Eating Pattern 1

Nourishing yourself

Do you feel deprived when changing what and how you eat? Do you eat when lonely or when you feel cut off? Do you have difficulty in knowing in your body whether you are hungry or not? Do you struggle with self care? Maybe you find it hard to just ‘be’? If so, addressing your ability to emotionally nourish yourself will help you with this eating pattern.

Nourishment is so much more than food

Whilst we need nourishment in the form of food, we also need to be emotionally nourished. Using food as a substitute for emotional nourishment may cause overeating. Replacing food with other forms of nourishment, instead of depriving yourself, helps you to maintain your weight loss. 


Emotional Eating Pattern 2

Needing to connect

Do you crave sweet or comforting foods? Do you find it hard to wait for food or fear there will not be enough? Do you have cravings for specific foods that you can’t kick? Do you have to eat very quickly? Do you reward yourself with something ‘naughty but nice’? Or do you eat food that you know is bad for you, then punish yourself after? Do you struggle to stop eating, even when you are full or never feel you have enough? If so, this eating pattern may be blocking you from losing weight. 

Food is love

Your emotional hunger or need for food may come from a deeper part of you that longs to connect. We help you identify your relational attachment pattern which could be blocking you from losing weight. Certain relational attachment styles can lead to overeating and cravings especially for comfort food. When you understand this, you can give yourself the love you crave instead of reaching for food. 

Emotional Eating Pattern 3

Recognising your needs

Do you recognise when you need to eat?  Do you eat when you really need something else like a break, a chat with a friend or to calm down? Do you want others to intuit your needs for you? Is eating what you want and not what you need causing you weight gain? If so recognising your real needs could help remove this block to losing weight. 

Stop overeating and tune in to yourself

Your eating could be prompted by an unmet need that you do not recognise and which you habitually seek to solve with food. By tuning in to your real needs, you will know when you need food and when you need something else. Removing the blocks to understanding your needs can help you sustain lasting weight loss.




Emotional Eating Pattern 4

Managing your emotions

Do you eat to make yourself feel better emotionally? Do you eat to change the way you feel? Do you eat to block an emotion or cope with an emotion? Maybe you find it hard to eat regularly because your emotional life feels chaotic. If you manage your emotions by turning to food you may be blocking your attempts at losing weight. This can lead to overeating and unhealthy food choices. If this is you, learning to manage your emotions through emotional regulation will help you unblock this pattern.

How to stop using food to cope

If you manage your emotions by turning to food, you are more likely to gain weight. To understand how to do this we introduce you to the concept of emotional regulation. This will help you eat more regularly and use natural mechanisms in your body to manage your emotional life. Once you feel confident with new ways of managing your emotional life, you will not need to use food for this.

Emotional Eating Pattern 5

Addressing your stress

Is emotional stress making you gain weight? Do you eat sweet things to cope or foods that feel comforting but contain a lot of calories? Do you feel so overwhelmed, it is hard to break unhealthy patterns or even consider how you could start losing weight? Are psychological traumas adding to your stress and contributing to unhealthy eating? If so addressing your stress will help you find the calm you need to sustain your lasting weight loss.

Understanding your psychological stress

The fight and flight mechanisms involved in stress can block your attempts at weight loss. It is important for your body to be calm and in ‘rest and digest’ when eating. Self-soothing helps you know when you are full, making you less likely to seek comforting foods to stop feeling overwhelmed. 


Emotional Eating Pattern 6

Taking responsibility

Do you struggle with your boundaries around food? Do you find it difficult to say no to food someone offers or to food you would like? Do you feel guilty about the way you eat? Is your eating sometimes out of control? Do you sabotage your weight loss by getting off to a good start then making food choices that ruin your good work? If so you may find this eating pattern is blocking your chances of sustained weight loss.

Making it happen

It is important to be able to have good boundaries and healthy autonomy around the way you eat and how you treat your body.  You need to have the inner strength to be assertive and say no to poor food choices and yes to good ones.

We Cover…

In our books and courses we cover every psychological area of weight loss. From helping you understand how you formed your body image to finding out how to lower your resistance to change. These are some of the areas we cover.

    • How to lower your defences to weight loss
    • How to let go of shame and judgement around eating
    • Why we use food to bond with others
    • Body image and binge eating
    • Breaking down barriers to exercise

  • Understanding how to change 
  • Why we find it hard to say no to food
  • Psychological stress and trauma
  • Your feeelings and how they affect weight loss 
  • Creating good boundaries around food
  • 12 steps to lasting weight loss
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